Counselling for Sexual Addiction, Including Pornography

All kinds of people suffer from sexual addictions. Put simply, people with sex addictions engage in compulsive sexual behaviour that creates serious problems for them. Usually they don’t want to be doing what they’re doing. Often they were abused as children and/ or grew up in families where there were other addictions. Usually their addictions are founded in emotional needs unrelated to sexual ones.

I create a safe space for you to discuss your situation with me. There is no judgment.

I listen to your story and help you stop doing what you’re doing. We will collaborate to customize a recovery that will work for you—if you work your recovery.

A deep recovery usually involves four basic efforts: I) meaningful discussion about oneself and one’s sexual history with at least one other person II) the use of basic practices to ground the body when sexual desires occur, III) the establishment of healthy structures and routines, and IV), through these efforts, the maintenance of the will to maintain healthy sexual behaviours.

With these efforts in mind, I help sex addiction clients to:

• Set up barriers between themselves and what they desire
• Resist and manage sexual desires when they arise
• Recognize what they think, feel and do as their sexual desires surface so they have more ability to manage them
• Shift disturbed states into healthy and/or manageable ones
• Use persuasive counter-arguments in response to their license-giving thoughts
• Recognize and resolve the psychological and emotional issues that underlie their sexual behaviour
• Create and implement Well Being, If Triggered and Maintenance plans to help avoid relapse
• Comprehend their sexual addiction in the larger picture of their life and sexual histories
• Create and utilize memory tools to help them remember to use their recovery plans
• Understand the role of the brain in sexual addiction (and recovery)
• Understand the areas of their personality that have played a part in their sexual addiction and the areas that can help their recovery
• Process recent or historical trauma (when appropriate)
• Use friends, family, and community groups, when possible, to support them

I often refer clients to (free) local 12-Step groups such as SA (Sexaholics Anonymous) and SAA (Sex Addicts Anonymous). There is no requirement or obligation to attend these groups.

I have done training workshops on sexual addiction with Robert Weiss, the founding Director of SRI (Sexual Recovery Institute, Los Angeles CA); and with Dr. Gabor Mate, a world-renowned expert on addiction